i went to bed last night
all things quite casual and woke up with memories of murdering each and every relative in my family with vivid detail
i do not remember doing this as an act of violence i remember doing this as an act of salvation
and the wierd thing is..
though i carry this as a burden
it hasnt even happened yet

Maybe you should see this in a spiritual light and that it is not actually killing them for real. Maybe you have cleaned them from negative energy as you say it's an act of salvation.

Killing is not always the end, but can be the start of something new.